“Let’s fight for a joyful, conscious and loving postpartum”
My postpartum came suddenly, just like that, without warning. He didn’t ask my permission either and was so brazen that he wanted to stay with me and act as my shadow for a little while. Oh… you’re not stupid at all.
He wanted to warn me, prepare me and guide me through this new stage, sweet motherhood!
If I had planned ahead I would have done a lot of things before becoming a mother.
1- I would have taken more advantage of my free time and holidays. Oh…my beer…how much I missed you during my pregnancy and postpartum.
2- I would have planned a big trip to say (temporary) goodbye to my “adventurous self”.
3- I would have planned where, how and under which conditions I would like to live postpartum and motherhood. Because yes, pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum should be lived according to the woman’s wishes and conditions. If she wants to live the postpartum period on the tip of the mountain, alone and dancing sardanas, let’s leave her alone!
I would have recommended ( for not being abrupt and say forced) to my partner (man) to read and be conscious of the implications of postpartum in his life and in mine.
Today I want to focus on this last point. This week I had the great pleasure of interviewing Krysta from Comadre postpartum. She is a doctor, doula and postpartum expert and we wanted to talk about postpartum and men. And this opens the can of worms
There is work that needs to be done not only by women, but also by men before and after childbirth. And this is essential in a society where men are constantly being given rights in terms of paternity, such as, for example, equal maternity and paternity leave or shared custody by default (I am not going to comment on these measures, I will do it another day). However, we forget that since childhood we are all subjected to a gender socialisation in which women are trained to take care and men are hardly educated to take care. And when we arrive at the postpartum period – …. – Surpriiiiise!
We need to plan! But let’s do it with them!
We need to know the reality of the postpartum period, reorganise the housework, the bureaucratic procedures, the care of the baby, the care of the mother, and do some internal work that requires some reflection about parenthood. A pleasant and exciting postpartum period is possible. So, let’s not forget to plan and as my colleague Krysta says: “Let’s fight for a joyful, conscious and loving postpartum”.
You can watch the interview with Krysta here.